4 p.m. - Another Reason that I Love Solo Practice
At four p.m., my workday ends , at least until late at night. Four p.m. is when I leave the house to pick up my daughters, nearly 6 and 9 from the bus stop around the corner. I walk them home and we talk about their day. The older one generally blurts out a million events a mile a minute while the younger one needs a little more prodding. Some days they're grouchy or tired and don't say much; some days they're angry that I didn't bring the car or cook the dinner that they wanted.
I have my own practice so that four pm is mine. Sure, there are days every so often when I'm delayed downtown or have a lengthy deposition where my husband or mom have to step in for pick up instead. But in general, the four p.m. deadline is etched in stone, it's one of those aspects of my practice (probably the only one!) that I'm committed to not compromising. And because I'm committed, I've been able to make it happen.
Four p.m. until 8:30 when my daughters go to bed is a fairly long time, long enough for them to get bored if they don't have an after school lesson that day or for me to get tired shuttling them around if they do. Long enough that much of our time together is quantity time rather than quality time with all kinds of creative activities programmed in. Long enough to sometimes even make me wonder whether at their age, I even need to be home for them at all. But then I remember that the reason that 4 pm is so important isn't because my girls need me every day, because they don't. Rather, it's for that one day every so often that they might want to confide about a bully or a friend who was mean or a teacher who was unfair and if I'm not there on standby everyday, I'll miss out when they need me most.
Do you have your own four pm in your life, an uncompromisable commitment that you abide no matter the cost? And if you don't, why not?
Your children learn from you when you least expect it. The time and dedication to your children is the best investment you can make. Your priorities set a great example for working mothers. Well done!
I was a solo practitioner until recently, when I started an internet business. My reasons for doing both are the same - I'm a single parent and feel the need to be available to my daughter on a moment's notice. Now that she's a teenager, I can go for hours without hearing or seeing her even when we're under the same roof. But when she does need me, the emotional urgency of that need is something I can't imagine leaving in the hands of another person or to an empty house. There was a time when I thought I could go back to my "normal career" once my kid was able to navigate her own way to school and pour her own cereal, but now that college is just around the corner, I'm even less inclined to go back to my old corporate life. I agree that quantity time (being on "standby" as you call it) is just as important as quality time. My daughter feels differently when I'm just around, feels taken care of emotionally, even if she isn't in the mood to interact. So, I actually work more hours scattered through the weekdays and weekends than I used to in a law firm, but I choose which hours to work and when I can drop everything.
Hear, hear!
When my first daughter was born, halfway through my second year of law school, I immediately decided that I was going to be a "Father who happens to be a lawyer, instead of a lawyer who happens to have kids."
I am expecting my second child this fall after having my first during my 3rd year of law school. I am now realizing that I cannot continue working for a firm and will have to go on my own. My daughter needs me more than ever (she is 2) and this new baby will need me just as much, if not more. Any advice?